Jet Haters Burn Rainforests!

January 22, 2009 § 4 Comments

What do people have against jets? If it isn’t members of Congress pestering auto executives about flying their jets in for the bail-out hearings it is the media getting their undies in a knot over the fact that lots of private jets appeared in the Washington DC area for the inauguration.

How were the people who owned these jets supposed to get to Washington? Covered wagon? Would a dirigible have been more appropriate? Just what is the deal with all the jet hating going on recently?

It seems like the only jet anybody likes out there recently is the only one that couldn’t fly – the airbus that crashed into the Hudson.

Personally, I like jets very much and if anybody out there who is embarrassed to own theirs would like to give it to me (also paying for operating expenses, of course) I would be happy to accept and shoulder the incredible burden of being a successful person in the land of the free.

As a cost cutting move, will our new president shun flying on Air Force One? Will he buy a center-seat coach ticket for his travels?


Also, executive jets are a great way to keep professional pilots employed. If these pilots didn’t have a job flying the boss around in the company jet they would have to resort to clear cutting rain forests so they could earn a living as subsistence farmers. Think about that for a minute all you jet-hating tree-huggers out there; tens of thousands of pilots burning thousand year old rain forest trees and killing all sorts of swampy life just so they can feed their ankle biters and soon to be ex-wives.

So, I guess I’ll have to use the eloquent words of one Tina Fey and tell all you turbine-hating, self-appointed carbon footprint watching, tofu eating, hemp growing, eco-hippy-commie-freaks out there to: Suck it.

Suck it like a JT-8d turbofan engine.

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§ 4 Responses to Jet Haters Burn Rainforests!

  • Anonymous says:

    Well I will Comment on this as soon as I quit laughing my Butt off.

    By the way Hemp taste Horrible…

  • Anonymous says:

    I’m so stupid and behind the times that I thought “Hemp” was the guy who replaced Curley on the Three Stooges.

  • Anonymous says:

    I think its only a symbolic hatred of private jets. Just like the symbolic greed of those who own them. I can say that as I am not wealthy. Can’t they make an inexpensive jet for Sunday fliers?

  • Anonymous says:

    HEY! Whatcha got against hemp smokers, ah, I mean growers.


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